it doesn’t make the love they shared any less real, after all, that he died—although admitting that she was the one who killed him is still a detail she thinks kisa doesn’t need to know. ]
But I’m afraid I haven’t been completely honest with you.
It was something I’d told you early on. Something intended to comfort you… but perhaps I was only protecting myself.
[ sierra sighs. this is clearly difficult for her as well, but she’s already committed to sharing the truth. it wouldn’t look good for her to try to change topics now. all she can do is be honest, loath as she is to do just that, but kisa deserves to know why sierra seems so melancholy.
[ Kisa stays silent for a long moment. Because, if she had to be honest, it's a lot to process, but she's also thinking back to everything Sierra's ever told her about Rean. How... wistful she'd seemed. The wish she'd made. Kisa had thought that it really had been a long time since they'd seen each other, but if it was just that she really wouldn't ever see Rean again...
Quietly, she stares at the floor. ]
He... was like you, wasn't he? He stopped aging... I thought that meant he couldn't die.
[ many vampires died by their own choice—ceasing to drink human blood, without sierra’s moon rune to keep them safe, eventually took its toll on most of the people she’d come to love over centuries. then, there were those like rean, who turned to monstrous actions in order to sustain the eternal life that she had given him.
it wasn’t fair, not to his victims, and not to the person he used to be. ]
…yes.
[ how can she explain this? ]
There had been an incident in the village. Where we had lived peacefully for years, many of my friends began to turn into monsters. Rean was among them.
[ it's not a word she's ever enjoyed hearing, for more personal reasons other than the fact that "monster" never really held a pleasant connotation for anyone. ]
[ sierra draws a breath, the closest she’s yet come to crying while awake and able to stop it. ]
Yes. In a way, I lost him four hundred years ago.
[ the unfortunate part is in her wording—in a way. although she’d parted from rean when he ran off to sustain his life in ways she could never forgive, it was all too recently that she’d actually run her hand through his chest. ]
[ Four hundred years ago. That's... such a vast amount of time for someone who can't even comprehend what it would be like to even live for a hundred. It's no wonder why Sierra longed to hear him again. To see him. To have a dream about him that had left her in tears.
It's... so terribly lonely, and even if Kisa isn't the one personally experiencing that loss, her eyes well up anyway. ]
[ sierra could have anticipated such a reaction. kisa is just a little girl, and there’s no way she would be able to stomach the idea of being left alone for 400 years.
she reaches out, smoothing her hand along kisa’s cheek as if she could stop the tears here. ]
Don’t cry. [ a soft, sad smile. ] You’ll make me cry.
[ a laugh that’s mostly without mirth, but a part of her is humbled nevertheless by kisa’s offer. if only such small gestures were able to fill the hole in her heart, but perhaps this kind of warmth is precisely what she’s needed to open herself up to. a few months isn’t going to undo years of pain, but—how could anyone, really, let themselves wallow when sitting next to kisa sohma? ]
I don’t need it, but thank you.
[ she carefully sets rean’s portrait aside, and then turns to focus fully on kisa, placing her forehead against hers. there’s not much of a difference in height, so it’s easy. ]
You... you've been looking out for me and helping me all this time.
[ Kisa closes her eyes against the gentle pressure, breathing in softly. Sierra never really talks about how she feels, either. Always graceful. Always composed. She'd only seen her shaken back in the palace, when she'd been upset about Kisa risking herself like that. ]
... I wanted... to try and do at least half as much for you...
[ sierra can’t help but find it funny in a horribly sad way that she has such emotion in common with a little human girl—it’s a bad sign for the life that kisa has lived, even if she’s turned out so sweet and empathetic to sierra’s plight. ]
You’ve done plenty. I promise. Just by being yourself.
[ She says this in a quietly wondering voice. She didn't know they were always sleepy, or if that's just a Sierra thing. She'd known that they drank blood and could turn into bats, but that's really about it. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ sierra should tell her.
it doesn’t make the love they shared any less real, after all, that he died—although admitting that she was the one who killed him is still a detail she thinks kisa doesn’t need to know. ]
But I’m afraid I haven’t been completely honest with you.
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[ She... doesn't really look hurt. Maybe she's used to this, people hiding things for (possibly) her sake. But she does droop a little. ]
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[ sierra sighs. this is clearly difficult for her as well, but she’s already committed to sharing the truth. it wouldn’t look good for her to try to change topics now. all she can do is be honest, loath as she is to do just that, but kisa deserves to know why sierra seems so melancholy.
why she was crying in her sleep. ]
Rean is… dead.
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[ Kisa stays silent for a long moment. Because, if she had to be honest, it's a lot to process, but she's also thinking back to everything Sierra's ever told her about Rean. How... wistful she'd seemed. The wish she'd made. Kisa had thought that it really had been a long time since they'd seen each other, but if it was just that she really wouldn't ever see Rean again...
Quietly, she stares at the floor. ]
He... was like you, wasn't he? He stopped aging... I thought that meant he couldn't die.
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it wasn’t fair, not to his victims, and not to the person he used to be. ]
…yes.
[ how can she explain this? ]
There had been an incident in the village. Where we had lived peacefully for years, many of my friends began to turn into monsters. Rean was among them.
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[ it's not a word she's ever enjoyed hearing, for more personal reasons other than the fact that "monster" never really held a pleasant connotation for anyone. ]
So... he stopped being the Rean-san you knew?
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Yes. In a way, I lost him four hundred years ago.
[ the unfortunate part is in her wording—in a way. although she’d parted from rean when he ran off to sustain his life in ways she could never forgive, it was all too recently that she’d actually run her hand through his chest. ]
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[ Four hundred years ago. That's... such a vast amount of time for someone who can't even comprehend what it would be like to even live for a hundred. It's no wonder why Sierra longed to hear him again. To see him. To have a dream about him that had left her in tears.
It's... so terribly lonely, and even if Kisa isn't the one personally experiencing that loss, her eyes well up anyway. ]
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she reaches out, smoothing her hand along kisa’s cheek as if she could stop the tears here. ]
Don’t cry. [ a soft, sad smile. ] You’ll make me cry.
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[ the most valiant offer when she is very much sniffling and trying very hard to keep from crying over Sierra's hand. ]
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[ a laugh that’s mostly without mirth, but a part of her is humbled nevertheless by kisa’s offer. if only such small gestures were able to fill the hole in her heart, but perhaps this kind of warmth is precisely what she’s needed to open herself up to. a few months isn’t going to undo years of pain, but—how could anyone, really, let themselves wallow when sitting next to kisa sohma? ]
I don’t need it, but thank you.
[ she carefully sets rean’s portrait aside, and then turns to focus fully on kisa, placing her forehead against hers. there’s not much of a difference in height, so it’s easy. ]
You have already done much for me.
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[ Kisa closes her eyes against the gentle pressure, breathing in softly. Sierra never really talks about how she feels, either. Always graceful. Always composed. She'd only seen her shaken back in the palace, when she'd been upset about Kisa risking herself like that. ]
... I wanted... to try and do at least half as much for you...
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[ sierra can’t help but find it funny in a horribly sad way that she has such emotion in common with a little human girl—it’s a bad sign for the life that kisa has lived, even if she’s turned out so sweet and empathetic to sierra’s plight. ]
You’ve done plenty. I promise. Just by being yourself.
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But Kisa sighs softly, managing a smile after a few seconds. ]
Thank you... I feel the same way about you.
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…I promise I won’t sleep that long again without at least telling you first. That was rude of me.
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[ With a firm nod. ]
Does that always happen in the winter?
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[ winter just seems like a good time to take a nice long nap, in sierra’s opinion. ]
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[ She wants to make sure she's properly prepared. More blankets, or maybe Sierra wants her hair brushed while she's asleep... ]
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[ as if on cue, she yawns, delicately covering her mouth with her hand. ]
But I shouldn’t sleep much more than this right now. I have things to do and people to see. I’m awake, I assure you.
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[ She says this in a quietly wondering voice. She didn't know they were always sleepy, or if that's just a Sierra thing. She'd known that they drank blood and could turn into bats, but that's really about it. ]
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[ sierra smiles, not quite proud but not exactly sad either. she’s the progenitor of all vampires, and so any stereotypes are technically her doing.
of course, that doesn’t speak for anything that other vampires in other worlds get up to, like eating sardines. ]
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[ Sierra... that's honestly kind of amazing?? ]
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[ it’s amazing if she leaves out all the details, which she will, because she’s probably scarred kisa enough for one day. ]